25 Years of Punk : VH1 and Spin Magazine

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VH1 Presents the Eighties: New Wave/Alternative.

VH1 is on a mission to shove retro eighties culture down your throat. Think of Clockwork Orange and you’ll get the idea. Their latest exercise in annoying editing and repetitive footage is their series called VH1 Presents the Eighties. The episode we’re interested in is called New Wave/Alternative. They’ve got it down to a cookie cutter science now, right down to the annoying choice of host, Shannon Doherty. Do you really want to hurt her? Yes you will. Right from the start of the poorly written dialogues about the Clash and the Need for Punk Rock to become more commercial. Aaargh! The sound of inane comments are matched only by her ridiculous wardrobe. Fortunately, she’s not the narrator, and only shows up after each commercial break. Still, she’s irritating enough to kill any nostalgia buzz you might have left.

After 10 minutes of a crash course in Punk Rock, New Wave/Alternative starts off with Blondie and the talking Heads, but not before we get to hear a jackass from Def Leppard dis bands like the Clash for becoming successful. Ludicrous. Remember the Punk/New Wave episode of Chips? VH1 is kind enough show a minute of it. Most of what follows is 20 second audio tracks over montages of old video footage and still shots. Most of it is recognizable (Early Pretenders!) footage, but occasionally and unfortunately you find yourself not being able to make out some interesting footage before it disappears. It would be nice if the gave these shots an unobtrusive label. The voice over is mixed with bits of comments from scenesters from the time as well as contemporaries like Moby and Macy Gray. OK, I’ll listen to Moby ‘s opinions on New Wave, but Macy Gray? Is she even old enough to comment? Most of the attention is focused on bigger names like the Police, while less successful bands aren’t mentioned but might be shown or heard. Soon, the focus is on the fashion and movies and not the music. When they get back to the music, the talk is about the parallels between the DIY ethic of Punk bands and the cheap synth band startups and how Gary Numan fucking rocks. It’s true, you know.

Sure, there are gut wrenching moments with Depeche Mode and face-punch evoking comments from the femme guy in the Human league. Then Black Flag and the Bad Brains show up! Indie rock is what they are talking about without actually giving you any information on specific bands. Dave Pirner shows up too, iguess Paul Westerburg wasn’t available, and Tommy Stinson was too busy with Guns and Roses II. Have you ever seen the video for take the Skinheads Bowling? Fanzines! Yeah! Christ on a stick! It’s the Minutemen! That first REM album was good, but dang! Now the whole show is about REM. Before you can say “Fuck the Goo Goo Dolls”, New Wave/Alternative is talking about Generation X (not the band) and Nirvana. Didn’t this just happen? Oh wait. I’m getting old. Nevermind bumps Michael Jackson off the number one spot in the charts. It’s about time.

VH1 Presents the Eighties: New Wave/Alternative is both irritating and amusing. Check it out if it’s on, but don’t stay home waiting for it.

by kilwag

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