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Get out your scissors and suck on these...
Flavor Ice (original flavor) How can you top a catch phrase like "Freeze 'Em and Eat 'Em?" New "gangsta" Flavor Ice mascot says "Stay fit. Stay Healthy." Unfortunately, keepin it real means keeping it bland. Flavor Ice original flavor is pretty generic. Think of them as your standard purple, red, blue, green, pink, orange, and green flavors. This brand tends to get too hard after extended time in the freezer. Taste: 5 Entertainment Value: 5 (see "gangbang/breakin" mascot helps)
Flavor Ice Tropical If you've got to eat Flavor Ice, make it Tropical. The Banana flavor is horrid just like all banana "flavored" chemical concoctions, but the rest are pretty good. The Jel Sert gods were resting the day after they begat the Topical Flavor Ice Guy, so mere mortals came up with three other flavor names with the suffix "punch" (Primo Punch!), not to mention "Citrus Blend". 4% fruit juice from concentrate. 10% fruit juice from concentrate.
Taste: 6
Flavor Ice Smooth & Creamy Sorbet Bars Packaged to appeal to snooty grown ups with no taste buds. Fat free, cholesterol free, and taste free. Actually, taste free would have been an improvement. These are horrible. Everyone hated them. Not disliked, but hated them. "Indulge yourself... Each smooth frosty 'squeeze' is bursting with fruit flavor, yet only has 40 categories." After the first couple of bites the texture turns from sorbet to spit up baby food. Yuck.
Taste: 2
Pop Ice The logo that you love to remember. Tastes exactly like they did all those years ago, possibly because the same stock is still on the shelf. Another Jel Sert creation. Six flavours.
Taste: 5
Mr Freeze Mr Freeze isn't exactly Mr Excitement. About the only thing going for them is that they aren't made by Jel Sert. This particular batch was left over from Batman (last year). Prepare yourself to feel the force of Star Wars pops this summer. Jedi Juice? Wookie Sweat? Again, too hard too soon.
Taste: 5
Mr Freeze Tropical One step up on the evolutionary ladder thanks to new tastes and magical "take me away" flavor names like Luau Lime and Surfin' Strawberry, plus a wacky snowman wearing a lei, can you believe it? Six flavors.
Taste: 7
Kool-Aid Kool Pops Not to be confused with Kool cigarettes brand menthol pops, these taste just like you'd expect frozen Kool Aid to taste like, an ice cube from the bottom of a glass of sugar water. And they come in four flavors of mediocrity. Oh Yeah! A bold move from the folks at Kraft Foods, distributors of... Mr Freeze! Overpriced.
Taste: 4
Otter Pops Bizarre name with equally wacky packaging. Six flavors with corresponding registered and trade marked characters like the beret wearing francophile Louie-Bloo Rasberry, Little Orphan Orange, Poncho Punch, Strawberry Short Kook, Sir Isaac Lime(?!?) and Alexander the Grape. He's not trade marked, possibly because he is also a candy made by Ferrara Pan (Candy is good food, eat some every day). If the character-flavor combo sounds familiar, it could be because Jel Sert is affiliated in some way with Wylers. The box of 150 that I bought offered "Fun Stuff" to collect like Otter Pops watches, scented markers (ah... grade school) and Family magnets. Even though Otter Pops are made by Jel Sert with the same ingredients, they somehow manage to taste better. It could be a placebo effect caused by the goofy pictures on the plastic sleeves. 10% fruit juice. The cult of Otter Pops is alive and well, as witnessed by this audio file I found on a long since defunct web site. It's the old Otter Pops jingle being sung as remembered by a fan. Otter pops are always a crowd pleaser.
Taste: 8
Frootee Ice Eight delicious flavors. All the usuals plus a crowd pleasing Cream Soda and a lemon and a lime flavor. Vitamin C enhanced, though I suspect it was a happy accident from the citric acid used for tartness. No straight fruit juice. Frootee Ice scored highly with the crowd, mostly due to the extra boost from the Cream Soda. The phonetic spelling of the name didn't hurt either. Is this a uniquely American phenomena? The packaging is industrial, and the value is high. The bulk box said I was getting an extra 10% free for a total of 110. Again, manufactured with pride by Pack 'Em Enterprises.
Taste: 8
Ice Bandits Brought to you by Leaf, makers of a bunch of candy. Pasteurized! 10 pops free (in box of 100). The mascot is a yellow humanoid blob on skis. 6 favors, including watermelon and cream soda! The name is great and the packaging has a sort of a vintage look to it. The cool flavors make the overall package a winner.
Taste: 9
Lifesavers Freeze Pops Unlike the major flop that Kool Aid made, Lifesavers has successfully transferred the instantly recognizable taste of Lifesavers candy to the freezer pop phenomena. Albeit a measly three flavors, orange, wild cherry, and grape, with grape suprsingly being the weakest. Another bummer is that the actual pops are a little short and stubby.
Taste: 8
Next Page: My mouth hurts...
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